Wingman

Dear Rhys,

Please stop directing those big eyes and huge smiles at the bikini clad ladies at the pool.  Daddy doesn't need a wingman.  He's stuck with me.

Love,
Mommy

Clothing Choices

Dear Miya,

When you look back at pictures of your early childhood, please know that your dad often let you choose your own clothes.  By reading this, you are agreeing to release me from any future accusations of dressing you in horribly mismatched outfits.  That was all you.

Love,
Mommy

P.S. 56 days until Hawaii!
P.P.S. The picture shows Hawaii as HawaH.  That was not an error on my part.  Anytime, you see two parallel lines you insist on joining them to make an "H".

Phillips

Dear Miya,

As adorable as your confusion is, it is time I set the record straight. Your last name is Phillips.  The gatekeepers to your mouth are not Phillips.  They are lips.  Please let me know if you require further explanation.

Love,
Mommy

Outsmarting Mommy

Dear Miya,

A few days ago, I was running errands with you and Rhys in tow.  Suddenly, you were complaining that you were too warm.  This complaint was accompanied by dramatic fanning of your face and panting.  Concerned, I immediately reached for the air conditioner.  That's when I noticed the ice cream shop in my rear view mirror.  Sure enough, you soon explained, while still panting, that ice cream, not air conditioning, was the only way to cool you down.  I was dumbfounded by your quick thinking and intimidated by your cunning.  Hence, I live in fear of your teenage years.

Love,
Mommy

Milk & Sugar

Dear Rhys,

It was very observant of you to notice that my coffee was lacking milk.  It was very considerate of you to want to remedy that situation.  However, in future, please refrain from regurgitating milk into my coffee cup.  That's a flavour that sticks with you.  Not in a good way.

Love,
Mommy

Hospitality

Dear Miya,

Your hospitality is truly heartwarming.  I am positive that it puts our house guests' minds at ease to know that all they have to do is "roar" like Daniel Tiger to summon your assistance.

Love,
Mommy

Point of No Return

Dear Miya,

You observed others on the ride.  You were excited at the chance to try it yourself.  You have adventurous tendencies.  We acquiesced.  After the ride started, I quickly discovered that you are not quite as adventurous as we thought.  The point of no return had already passed and for that I apologize.  I'm, also, sorry about the crazy laughing.  It's what I do on rides or when I'm uncomfortable or scared.  Don't judge.  You do it, too.

Love,
Mommy

Blue Tongue

Dear Miya,

I know they are nontoxic.  I know they change your teeth and tongue a lovely shade of blue.  I know that you enjoy having your teeth and tongue a lovely shade of blue.  However, none of these reasons justify you "drinking" from a marker.  You know better than to do that.  Furthermore, since you made the cheeky comment that "if I can't drink them, then you should put them away somewhere", then I will do just that.  Let's see you try and dye your tongue blue now.

Love,
Mommy

Taking Direction Literally

Dear Miya,

Judging by the way you hovered your bum over your spilled breakfast, you took my orders too literally.  When I tell you to "get your bum over here and clean up this mess", I mean please bring your person into the vicinity of the mess and use your hands to clean up.  Not your bum.

Love,
Mommy

Word Choice

Dear Miya,

It is impressive how seamlessly you incorporate new words into your daily interactions.  However, occasionally you misuse the new words.  You seem to use the word "bang" as a synonym for the words "hit" or "spank".  In some sentences this would be an acceptable substitution, but in others substituting the word "bang" takes the sentence in a different direction.  One day, you will be old enough to understand why Grandma and I laughed when you angrily uttered, "Daddy is going to bang you when he gets home".

Love,
Mommy