Sunday 8 February 2015

Jesse Pinkman

Dear Rhys,

Your sister isn't the only child dropping curse words into conversation these days.  The difference is that your crimes are unintentional.  It has been pointed out by a couple of people, one being your sister, that at times you mispronounce the word "boots".  Sometimes, your little toddler mouth produces an [i] sound instead of the [oo] and a [ch] replaces the [ts].  I think you see where I'm going here.  Furthermore, with your second birthday looming on the horizon, you have developed a penchant for tantrums.  Today, you had a tantrum involving boots and have I mentioned that you, currently, pronounce "no" as [yo]? Shrieks of "yoooooooo bitch" rang through the streets.  When you are 19+ watch a show called "Breaking Bad" and the humour in this will reveal itself.


Saturday 7 February 2015

Colourful Language

Dear Miya,

I have complimented you before on your ability to easily incorporate new words into your vocabulary.  Over the last few months there have been numerous examples of this.  Some highlights are:

  • Daddy was teasing you about being a baby and you turned around and yelled, "I'm not a baby, damn it!"  While we encourage you to expand your vocabulary.  "Damn it" is not a phrase you should be using.  I will admit that this is likely a phrase you learned from me.  I apologize and promise to be more aware of my word choices in your presence.
  • At Christmas, you came in to discover Rhys sleeping and said, "what the hell? He's asleep again?"  Once again, this is not a phrase you need in your repertoire.  Kelsey's boyfriend, Richard, apologizes for using that phrase around you and promises to be more aware of his word choices in your presence.
Who are we kidding?  That phrase is Richard cleaning up his word choices around you.  In future, please don't repeat anything you hear him say.  Those damn, Kiwis.

Watching videos with Aunty Kelsey at Christmastime

Terrible Twos

Dear Terrible Twos,

Welcome to the family.  I am beyond excited that you were able to join us on our weekend in Whistler.  Here are some of the highlights of the excitement you've added to our trip so far.

  1. Ketchup and butter for breakfast.  Ketchup equals vegetable and butter equals milk product, right?  I'm choosing to believe this was a balanced meal.
  2. Refusal to wear anything other than dress shoes for footwear.  It's important to look dapper at all times.  Splashing in puddles and playing in snow shouldn't be an exception to this rule.  Obviously.
  3. Spilling milk on Mommy.  Several times.  From flinging it from a straw and sprinkling little white droplets on my glasses and in my hair to assisting Mommy in dumping an entire glass all over my pants and jacket during dinner.  Sitting in cold, wet, milk soaked pants and sweater must have some benefits, right?  Sort of like a milk bath?  Let's just call it a spa treatment and chalk it up as another terrible two win.
Of course, it goes without saying that you've added a lot of screaming, kicking and "Mommy, yoooooooooo (no in Rhysie language)" to the trip, as well.  I can't wait to see what you have in store for us for the remainder of the weekend.

A slightly greyer Mommy