Toilet Paper

Dear Miya,

I greatly respect the passion with which you debate your beliefs with me.  However, some of the beliefs you hold are simply incorrect and not worth debating.  For example, being three does not mean that you must use three wads of toilet paper every single time you use the toilet.  More often than not three is way too much.  Can you imagine if Daddy was in there using 34 wads of toilet paper simply because he's 34?  Mother Earth just shed a tear at the wastefulness of that hypothetical situation.  With all of this in mind, please stop debating toilet paper usage with me every time that you use the toilet.  Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Love,
Mommy

Miya in February 2013

The Dinosaur

Dear Miya,

Currently, Pytosaur is the name you are using to refer to the dinosaur you and Aunty Suzie created out of Jenga tiles.  Over the last 24 hours, he has been known by many names all starting with "P" and ending in "-saur".  My personal favourite was a name you coined as you were putting the final touches on the dinosaur's extremely long tail.  Aunty Suzie will confirm that Pornosaur was what you so proudly named your completed masterpiece.

Love,
Mommy

"Pornosaur"

The Noise

Dear Miya,

I have completed a thorough investigation and I can say with certainty that the source of the noise was a faucet that hadn't been turned off properly.  If it's any consolation, I was really hoping that your theory was correct.  A penguin waddling around the house would have been way more fun!

Love,
Mommy

Rhys Stays

Dear Miya,

Even though the novelty of a baby brother has worn off for you, our decision to bring Rhys into our lives was a permanent one.  Therefore, the answer is no, we are not going to the doctor to have Rhys put back into my tummy.

Love,
Mommy

Sister and brother fun in the sand in Hawaii

Playing in the Sand

Dear Miya,

Rolling in the sand when we tell you it's time to leave the beach is not a clever way to extend our time at the beach.  You thought you were getting another trip into the ocean to rinse off.  Instead, you endured an uncomfortable walk back to the resort to rinse off in the cold showers.  I hope you learned your lesson.

Love,
Mommy

Clumsy

Dear Miya,

Unfortunately, I have passed my inherent clumsiness on to you.  You are constantly tripping, bumping into things and knocking things over.  For example, yesterday you managed to knock a beer off the table on to the floor.  The bottle landed in such a way that beer shot up and hit the ceiling.  Daddy was dumbfounded as to how you had managed to do this and was crossing his fingers in the hopes that no one would notice it when we check out of the room.  You see, Daddy isn't clumsy.  However, I am.  I grabbed a beach umbrella, topped it with a roll of paper towel, and the ceiling was beer free in seconds.  Moral of the story is that if you are going to continue on the path of clumsiness, then you better learn to be resourceful.

Love,
Mommy

Checking Out the Goods

Dear Rhys,

Stop staring.  Stop smiling.  Stop giving her the eyes.  And please, stop smacking your lips at her.  They may be big, but there isn't a chance that you will be getting any milk out of them.  You're stuck with Mommy's.  Same goes for Daddy.

Love,
Mommy

Sugar Cane Train in Maui aka The Scene of the Crime

Curtains

Dear Miya,

The answer is still no, you cannot turn the television on.  I told you that while we are on vacation there is to be no television during the day.  Closing curtains, while clever, does not mean that night has fallen.

Love,
Mommy

Miya's attempt at tricking me into thinking that it's night

Wet Hands

Dear Miya,

Tomorrow we will be in Hawaii where we will spend a week splashing around in the ocean and paddling in the resort's pools.  Unfortunately, your yearning to play in water was so great that you could not wait the mere 24 hours until we touch down in Hawaii to do so.  All I can say is that I'm glad that I had cleaned that toilet today.

Love,
Mommy

Miya (just minutes before her hands entered the toilet) showing off the outfit she chose to wear on the flight.

Dancing and Singing Videos

Dear Miya,

I'm glad to see you've been brushing up on your Hula dancing skills in the lead up to our trip.  However, you may discover that the locals aren't familiar with your favourite tune "Hula, Hula (My Gorgeous Hair)."

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=c4-feed-u&v=hD7mqhyHbOM

We leave for Hawaii in four short days.  In anticipation of the five hour flight, we bought you special headphones.  The idea being that you would be quiet and content watching videos on the plane.  Judging by the following video, we better hope that there are a lot of Carly Rae Jepsen fans on the plane.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=c4-feed-u&v=zZAQNrsHbXk

Love,
Mommy

No Yellow Snow!

Dear Miya,

You are growing up in Vancouver and as a result, you don't have a lot of experience with snow.  As such, we will forgive your confusion this one time.  The substance you were gleefully throwing in the air is not snow.  It's baking soda that I was using to soak up the moisture from your accident.  Now that we have established that the baking soda is not snow, please remember that the yellow rule applies to both snow and baking soda.  Never eat (or play in) the yellow snow or baking soda.

Love,
Mommy

Baby Art

Dear Miya,

Today, you proudly exclaimed, "look at my picture of you holding the baby".  By this, I assumed that I would look and see a picture of me holding Rhys in my arms.  Instead, I saw this:

Do you know something that I don't?  Because the last I heard, my tummy was vacant.

Love,
Mommy