Clapping

Dear Rhys,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for learning how to clap.  This new skill of yours has added some excitement to otherwise mundane tasks.  When you sit up after a breastfeeding session with a content, yet serious look on your face and slow clap, I feel like a champ.  And, after a particularly challenging diaper change, your huge smile and resounding applause almost makes me forget that half of the poop has leaked onto my lap.  Almost.

Love,
Mommy

Diarrhea

Dear Miya,

I agree with you that diarrhea is an awful sounding word and that the act of having it is even worse.  However, I'm not sure that your replacement word is much better.  The imagery that automatically accompanies a word like poopsmoke is comical yet horrifying.

Love,
Mommy

Whispering

Dear Miya,

Whispering is the act of speaking quietly, often directly into the ear of another.  This act is not to be preceded by thirty seconds of shushing noises and heavy breathing in the ear of the message recipient.  Please keep this in mind for future whisper exchanges.

Love,
Mommy