How to Wash Hands

Dear Rhys,

Washing your hands is currently your favourite activity.  Since you partake in this activity numerous times a day, Daddy and I assumed that you had the process mastered.  It appears we were wrong.  Hand washing instructions are as follows:

Step 1: Wet hands
Step 2: Apply soap to hands and thoroughly scrub
Step 3: Rinse and dry hands

Please notice that there is no fourth step instructing you to put a brand new roll of toilet paper into the water pooled in the sink causing the drain to clog and the water to overflow.  Appropriately, it looked like a mummy had drowned in the sink.  Happy Halloween, Rhysie!

Love,
Mommy

Cat in the Hat and the Goldfish.  Not pictured: Things 1 & 2

Goldfish Rhysie

Itchy Bum

Dear Rhys,

It saddens me to see the discomfort your eczema causes you.  Although I am willing to do almost anything in my power to relieve your discomfort, I must draw the line somewhere.  In future, the stubble on my legs is not to be used as a baby bum scratching post.

Love,
Mommy

Pretending he's a big kid like Miya at her preschool

Baby Boy

Dear Rhys,

I get it.  You're a boy.  Please stop trying to hit my leg with the proof when you're waiting to get into the bath.

Love,
Mommy

Tinkerbell

Dear Miya,

I recently overheard you telling someone that although your bed is made everyday, it is not always you who does it.  This is true.  Then, you went on to say that on the days that you don't make your bed, Tinkerbell magically comes out of your pillow and does it.  Tinkerbell?  Really?  That's the story you're going with?  Motherhood is a very rewarding and simultaneously thankless job.  That said, I'm not letting that fairy steal my thunder.  It is Mommy who makes your bed when you forget, not some fairy that has been extracted from a pillow.  You're welcome.

Love,
Mommy

Toilet Cleaner

Dear Rhys,

Please know that I fully appreciate your willingness to clean.  However, next time the toilet is due for a clean, please let me know instead of taking it into your own hands.  There are much more effective tools available for toilet scrubbing than your own toothbrush.

Love,
Mommy

Watch out ladies, not only does he clean, he cooks, too!

Piranha

Dear Rhys,

Today, I helped a piranha remove a morsel of food from between its teeth.  There were moments where I feared that I would lose my hand to the vicious bites, but I persevered.  OK, so that may not be completely true, but that is certainly what it felt like.  Next time you get a piece of apple caught between your teeth, you can go see Daddy for assistance.

Love,
Mommy

My little biter taking a selfie

Statute of Limitations

Dear Miya,

Please stop shaming me and acting like my lack of praise for your drawings is an affront.  Despite what you say, the statute of limitations for defacing stuffed animals is longer than one day.  I will see you on the other side of time out.

Love,
Mommy

She drew lips on trunk and upside down heart below

Her attempt at writing his name "Silky" apparently

Thanksgiving 2014

Dear Miya,

Counting down the sleeps until you get to spend a holiday enjoying a nice meal with family is endearing.  Counting down the sleeps until you get to eat the turkey's "delicious skin" is a little creepy.  Let's cut out the latter and do the former.

Love,
Mommy

Miya's drawing of a turkey

Squirrel

Dear Rhys,

As you know, your current favourite animal is the squirrel and this love of squirrels has had an impact on our whole family.   At the mere mention of the word squirrel the entire family drops everything to rush you to the living room window and there we sit all in a row watching the squirrel.  Congratulations, you have managed to singlehandedly transform our family into the pack of dogs from the movie "Up".

Love,
Mommy

Playing puppies at Grandpa & Grandma's house

Katy Perrys

Dear Miya,

I just want to remind you that you are only four.  That said, how about we go ahead and put those teenaged eye rolls and "my mom doesn't get me" glares on the shelf for a few more years.  If you don't let me know that you have renamed hot dogs, then how do you expect me to understand what "I only want to eat Katy Perrys for dinner" means.

Love,
Mommy

Playing in the fall leaves on her way to school

Sleepy Questions

Dear Miya,

Yes, I did have a great sleep.  Thank you for asking.  Well, actually, I was having a great sleep until it was interrupted.  In future, please wait until the sun is up to ask how my sleep was.

Love,
Mommy

Miya and Rhys reading books together in the morning

Diaper Pocket

Dear Rhys,

Please stop using your diaper as a pocket for small toys and Daddy's car keys.  There is no way that can possibly end well.  I'm starting to think that I owe Miya an apology.  Maybe she wasn't responsible for the doll arms caper of 2013 after all.

Love,
Mommy

My little daredevil