Tooth Fairy

Dear Miya,

Recently, you lost your first tooth.  Due to unforseen circumstances, the tooth fairy didn't do her job overnight and instead visited our house the following morning while we were out.  Later that day, we heard you yell that your tooth was gone.  Daddy and I expected you to happily bound down the stairs brandishing your shiny, new twoonie.  In reality, you stomped down the stairs in a fit of rage insisting that a robber had stolen your tooth and replaced it with a twoonie that he or she had obviously stolen from your purse. 

What followed next was a long, heated debate between you, Daddy and I about what had happened.  We repeatedly dismissed your version of events as implausible and for that I must apologize.  In hindsight, I can't believe we were dismissive of your theory while pedalling a story about a tooth collecting fairy who breaks into kids' rooms leaving money in exchange for teeth.  In our defence, many other parents would have reacted in a similar manner.  Parenting is weird.

Love,
Mommy

Mother's Day

Dear Rhys,

I don't want you to pick your nose.  If you insist on doing it anyways, then do it privately.  Or, at the very least, do it out of flicking distance of others.  My least favourite gift on Mother's Day was your crunchy nose nugget landing in my mouth.

Love,
Mommy

Potty Time

Dear Rhys,

We are very pleased with your quick mastery of the potty.  However, as much as we want to encourage your independence, we have to condone your recent actions.  When toilet paper and a supervising adult are not immediately present, your sister's water bottle is never a viable option for cleaning poop off your bum.  Even if it was effective.

Love,
Mommy

Culinary Adventure

Dear Rhys,

Although I'm usually quite adventurous with food, I have to draw the line somewhere.  Please stop thrusting your snotty nose into my face insisting that I taste it.  Just because you think your snot tastes "deeyicious" doesn't mean you or anyone else should be eating it. 

Love,
Mommy