As our resident Elf on the Shelf, you have become a beloved member of our family. However, after some discussions with Miya and Rhys over the last two days, I have some issues to take up with you. As you and I both know, you have assistance from some unnamed helpers in pulling off your shenanigans. The first helper assists you in setting up scenes that will delight and amuse the children. The second helper, on the other hand, seems to like to assist you in picking the parts of the house that, admittedly, don't get dusted as often as they should. Miya has started commenting on the layer of dust you're developing. Please shake off the dust and get helper number two in line.
Secondly, Miya informed me today that her and Rhys have decided what they want to be when they grow up. "We both want to be an Elf on the Shelf when we grow up. Isn't that great?" Miya gleefully exclaimed. Rhys nodded his agreement yelling, "ya, ya, Scooooppaaayyy" and pointing in your direction. Scoopy, I want to be a parent who supports my children no matter what path they choose in life. But, I mean support in the emotional way, not the financial way and I suspect there's not a lot of money to be made as an Elf. Please stop making the Elf life look so appealing.
Love,
Mommy
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