Sad Pirate

Dear Miya,

You can't use my work desk as a pirate ship, no matter how many times you softly utter, "arrr" with that downtrodden look on your face.  Furthermore, yelling at me, "I'm a sad pirate" won't stop me from laughing at your dramatics.  It just makes the whole scene more amusing.

Love,
Mommy

Soother Tricks

Dear Rhys,

I must apologize for starting when I look at your face lately.  I promise that, despite my reaction, I find you to be quite adorable.  However, at first glance, when you do that thing where you stick your tongue out below your soother, something looks frighteningly amiss.

Love,
Mommy

Diaper Treasures

Dear Miya,

Your stealth is commendable.  Last night, I changed your brother's diaper, then took him upstairs, swaddled him and placed him in bed.  Please explain how and when you slipped doll arms into his diaper.

Love,

Mommy

Dear Rhys,

I greatly appreciate the fact that you sleep through the night.  That being said, it is not necessary to sacrifice your comfort so that Mommy can sleep well.  Next time you find yourself sleeping with doll arms stuck to your bum, please give me a shout.  Sometimes that sister of yours can be a pain in the bum.  Pun intended.

Love,
Mommy

Pink Lemonade

Dear Miya,

I am well aware that pink is your favourite colour and that white is not.  However, this is not a valid reason why you should be served pink lemonade with breakfast instead of milk. Nice try.

Love,
Mommy

Chalk Crisis

Dear Miya,

I am proud of your ability to stay calm and take charge in the midst of a crisis.  I, also, appreciate your frequent reassurances that it is "going to be fine".  I must admit, your plan to clean up all your toys and clean the TV before Daddy got home did save you from further discipline.  In future, it may be easier to just avoid the crisis by not drawing chalk pictures on Daddy's TV.

Love,
Mommy

Feeding Rosanna

Dear Miya,

You are a very sweet Mommy to baby Rosanna*.  That being said, I must apologize for laughing while you fed her.  I'm sure your doll will greatly benefit from your decision to breastfeed.

Love,
Mommy

*  formerly known as Barbie

Mommy's Birthday

Dear Miya,

You made some persuasive arguments.  Despite that, I must decline your request.  You cannot have a birthday party for Mommy on the deck with all of your friends at which I close my eyes while you open all the presents.  That's just a party for you in disguise.

Love,
Mommy

Placement vs Payment

Dear Miya,

Daily, I hear you say, "I bought it all by myself".  The fact of the matter is that you did not.  Placing an item on the counter at the cashier is not the same as paying for the item.

Love,
Mommy

Big Tummy

Dear Miya,

The answer is no.  I do not have another baby in my "big tummy".  Your brother isn't even two months old yet, so please cut me some slack.  If you're looking for me, I will be upstairs...doing sit-ups...between sobs.

Love,
Mommy

Mommy's Moustache

Dear Miya,

In my slightly biased opinion, the portraits you draw are unparalleled.  However, they are not always accurate.  I know that I don't maintain my appearance as well as I did in the pre-Miya era, but there is no way that I have more facial hair than your dad.  In future, please draw Daddy with the moustache and Mommy without.

Love,
Mommy

First Crush Revisited

Dear Miya,

I thought it was nice of you to ask Aunty Kelsey to play hide and seek with you.  At least I did until I realized that you were just using it as an opportunity to have alone time with Richard while Aunty Kelsey was hiding.  Your tactics are very clever, but please give Aunty Kelsey a break and back off her boyfriend.

Love,
Mommy

Update: Picture added 13Oct14. Crush still going strong!

Always Listen to Your Mom Revisited

Dear Miya,

Mr. Milk Jug listened to Mommy and sat nicely in his stroller on the way home from the store.  Despite being offered a ride in the stroller first, you opted to walk home.  But, instead of walking you ran and fooled around despite being repeatedly told to stop.  Mr. Milk Jug made it home unscathed, you did not.  Hopefully, this time the lesson will sink in.  Always listen to your mom.

Love,

Mommy

Pirate Games

Dear Miya,

It has come to my attention that you have been assisting Captain Rhys with keeping one eye shut to simulate a pirate eye patch.  While we appreciate you being a helpful big sister, Rhys making it to his first birthday with both eyes intact is slightly more important.  Please stop playing pirates with Rhys until further notice.

Love,
Mommy

Blowouts

Dear Rhys,

Please try to keep your bowel movements to an amount that does not exceed the limit of your diaper.  If this is not possible, please aim the leakage towards a different section of my pants next time.  Your dad is never going to believe that your diaper leaked as it is far more amusing to say that Mommy peed herself.

Love,
Mommy